top of page

Who's holding you accountable?

In this sex negative culture, shame, limitations, and negative messaging about women's sexuality is abundant. Girls from a young age are socialized to believe that there is a right and a wrong way to express and experience their sexuality. Many of us challenge that status quo and create vibrant, fulfilling, pleasurable erotic lives. But many of us don't. And even among those of us that do, it takes effort to keep all of those negative voices at bay all the time. I recently created a small group coaching program called Pleasure Pursuers. The program is designed to help women identify their sexual script and how it is negatively impacting their ability to claim and access erotic pleasure in their lives.

Another tactic that our sex negative culture uses to keep our sex lives limited is to make talking about sex in and of itself taboo. Throughout our lives there is a certain expectation that open conversations about sex and pleasure is in appropriate even among close and trusted friends. For most of us, there is a time period in our adolescence/young adulthood where we are more open about these topics. Unfortunately, we are also more likely to get our information from less than credible sources or just from rumors/anecdotes from others in our lives. To put it plainly, we have very poor sex education in this country and even when we do get access to it, it tends to be focused on the most stark biological functions and negative health consequences of sex rather than the pursuit of pleasure.

One of the most frustrating things I experience as a professional who's work is focused on women's sexual and relational wellness is marketing! Social media platforms are THE way to build a brand, online presence, and market services in today's landscape. However, all of the major social media outlets have highly restrictive censorship on any educational content related to sex. Of course there are lots of sexologists and other sexual health professionals on the platforms but our pathways to marketing - especially paid ads - are fewer than those professionals who offer other non-sexual offerings. There are no limitations or censorship of words like gun(s), weapon(s), or even content related to disinformation about vaccines or politics. The moment someone says "sex", "orgasm", "pleasure", or the like it's immediately associated with salacious content. So, it is highly probable that you could be well into adulthood and not have a full, comprehensive, and positive understanding or appreciation for yourself as a sexual being.

It's for these reasons most of all I created Pleasure Pursuers as a group coaching program. Coaching is a personal relationship aimed at identifying a personal challenge/stuck point, creating realistic goals around that challenge/stuck point, and leveraging the professional expertise and guidance of a coach to help you meet those goals. Inherent in this dynamic is the power of accountability. Unfortunately, for us humans behavioral change can be difficult. It's damn near impossible with objective, consistent, and caring support. This is why programs like Weight Watchers or exercise challenges like Hard 75 are so effective. They leverage the power of accountability and support. When we have to get clear about what we want and don't want, then make a goal for how to achieve that outcome, it makes the possibility that we will be achieve that outcome that much higher. When you add in a layer of accountability and support? The likelihood of success becomes even closer in reach for you.

I'm here to remind you that prioritizing sexual pleasure, having a fulfilling erotic life not only has many health benefits but is yours to have just by virtue of you existing. The female body doesn't come with a clitoris for nothing! I'm also here to validate that knowing how to prioritize your sexual pleasure, knowing what your specific roadblocks are, and how to overcome them is daunting on its own. Pleasure Pursuers group coaching program addresses all of that in just 5 short weeks. It's a dedicated time for yourself to demonstrate to yourself that you are worthy of a life centered in pleasure and joy. I promise you, you are worth it and your life will be the better for it!

50 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page